March 2026 Recap

Certified Prankster

It was my Instagram bio for a reason.

Some may be shocked to hear, I’m not the OG pranker in my family… everything I know comes from my parents, it’s literally in my DNA. So I thought I would share some April Fools inspo from our personal experiences. Now I must warn you, when it comes to pranks, my style is comparable to Winston from New Girl; you either barely notice the prank has happened, or it has catastrophic consequences, so recreate at your own risk:

• In the middle of the night, switch your kids so they wake up in their siblings’ room. Precede to call them their sibling name, convince them they have swapped lives.
• As you enjoy your Sunday in the hot tub, casually call your kids over and break the news that Dad got a new job and the family is moving. Some of the kids may be excited, some may break down in tears, but it’s important you commit to the bit.
• Go on vacation with your friends, but stay in separate hotels. At 2 am, pull together any materials you have (for us, it was paper, grass, chocolate syrup, and a candlestick). Drive to their hotel, write ‘help’ in chocolate fudge on a sheet of paper, and push it as far under the door as possible, and then watch your friends freak out the rest of the trip. If you want it to go down in history, let them piece together that it was all a prank over a game of fish bowl.
• Show up to your friend’s house with an injury (that’s just makeup) and say you have been mugged, bonus points if you have your parents in on the scheme and call them in front of everyone freaking out.
• Convince someone who works at Chick-Fil-A that you’ve won the golden cup, bonus points if they fall for it on a Sunday.
• Try a social prank: tell a stranger you have a YouTube channel and hype it up the whole conversation, and when they ask for the link, disappear.
• Learn from my prank mistakes. If you want to fake a DM chain, maybe don’t actually send the first DM. The receiver may end up responding and thinking your friend has invited them to prom…

Business Insights

New York’s newest venture. 

On my journey across the US, I ran into the most delightful group of young men. After spending some time chatting and getting to know them, it became clear they are on the brink of a breakthrough in an untapped market; vetting if your boyfriend passes the vibe check.

In an era of online dating and unvetted men, how do you actually know if your boyfriend is normal? Put him to the ultimate test with an authentic boys’ trip. 

This group has a tried and tested itinerary (patent pending). They are willing to live the same weekend over and over again, putting their livers, wallets, and lives at stake to guarantee your boyfriend will experience:

• burgers, beers, and pro bars
• homemade Slovakian liqueur
• social situations that blur the line between friendly banter and actual fights 
• 30 girls
• skiing, starting at the top of the mountain, regardless of proficiency 
• light haunting from sock monkeys

All of this will test your man’s mental fortitude, stomach, speed, and more. 

At the end of the trip, you can expect a full review from the boys if your man has what it takes to hang, and they will expect an invite to the wedding if your man passes the vibe check. And if he comes back saying he didn’t have a good time, you know right away he’s a goner.

Oh! And make sure he packs extra cash to bribe a bouncer. 

I Came To Cheer For Them

Why were they cheering for me?

Look, I know what it’s like to be an attention hog, I am the youngest of three with a passion (not talent) for performing. Yet nothing could’ve prepared me for the level of stardom one experiences when they bring a sign to a race. I brought an oddly specific sign of my sister’s cat to cheer on my sister, but in turn, the runners were all cheering for her cat and the sign holder (me). I’ve never been seen and acknowledged by so many people at once (or maybe ever), and her cat is now known and supported by thousands.

If you want to feel special, you do not need to train and compete in a major race, you just need to bring a sign to one.

Best Of The Best

Indulge with me.

Food and Fun

• Best Sandwich: If you find yourself in Salt Lake City, you better find yourself at Caputo’s Deli and order their Old School sandwich
• Best Dessert: Din Tau Fung’s chocolate baos and whipped cream. Pure lava
• Best Coffee: Another month of Lovr Boys at the top of the charts. It’s the cups
• Best Dinner: Shoutout to Mom’s bday dinner, best theme and crew

Media Moments

• Song: It’s the fact that I can’t listen to anything other than Chicago by Michael Jackson that makes me scared for my mental state
• Movie: Project Hail Mary has reignited a desire to watch movies. PHM is worth the trip to the theater

What I’m Keeping for Next Month

• Hot tubbing
• Comparing everything to Universal: I actually think I will be doing this the rest of my life. I’ve been to hundreds of places, yet the first thing out of my mouth any time I’m somewhere new is “this reminds me of Universal.”
• Cabbage

What I’m Avoiding 

• Motels turned hotels: unfortunately, it doesn’t matter if all the furniture has been replaced, you still get the sleep of a motel 
• Vegas: Until next year, good friend. I will never understand the lack of water, fruit, and vegetables
• Starbucks: Anything that is not the brown sugar shaken espresso is not my friend there
• Carmel Delights: Samoas and Carmel Delights are not the same. One is obviously better… Samoas are better