July 2026 Recap

Written by

Chloe

Birthday Rewards, My Tips And Tricks

Maximize being alive another year.

Madewell: $25 with no spend maximum and available for the whole month

Abercrombie: Spend $100 to get $20 off. Not as worth it; feels like you have to buy a bunch of items you don’t need to get the deal

Sephora: Birthday reward item, $30 spend minimum for a fun little beauty product of your choosing. It’s only worth it if you need to replenish some product or have been wanting to try something new.

Anthropology: 20% off, can use any time during your bday month. Overall solid offer considering they don’t usually have promos floating around

Vuori: Bleh. $10 off, you only get 2 weeks to use it from the time they send it

Starbucks: Here is my tip: set your bday as a different day in the app so you can get a free drink during your bday week, because who has time to go to starbs on the actual day

Athleta: Bleh. 15% off one item, not really exciting considering how many sales and promotions they have throughout the year

Toast: The best discovery I’ve ever made. Your local restaurants and coffee shops who accept payments through Toast are probably offering you bday rewards you didn’t know existed. Get the app, go to rewards, and explore all the bday rewards around your town and anywhere you are going during your birthday month. I got more free coffees and ice creams for the month than I could even begin to redeem.

Matcha Mayhem, Here’s My Rankings

I’d like to thank Blan for ordering the craziest flavors.

Strawberry: Our favorite is barista-made, a fabulous strawberry milk with a vanilla cold foam, but for the average day when you aren’t wanting a sugar bomb, blend some strawberries and milk for your at-home matcha. Chefs kiss
Coconut: Strictly from the barista, nothing I’d be able to perfect. One of my all-time favorites is an almond milk matcha with a little coconut cream
Mooala: Just some matcha and Mooala almond or banana milk, simply delicious. Emphasis on simple
Cantaloupe: Bonus points for cantaloupe because Blan asked the barista so many questions about it she had to admit she was allergic to cantaloupe and he had to apologize for ordering it anyway
Jam: It’s just as it seems, matcha sweetened with jam
Raspberry: I’ve only had it muddled at home; I’d rank it higher if it wasn’t so seedy. At least it is a great source of fiber
Piña colada: I mean, I’ll be fully honest, it just tasted like a piña colada, couldn’t taste any matcha. Great option for someone who wants a pina colada
Blueberry: I just can’t get behind blueberry syrup, homemade or store-bought; it’s never tasted like anything to me
Key lime pie: It took Blan 6 hours to drink because it was so tart. To make things worse, it had a cookie cold foam. For me, it just didn’t go together.

Summer Foods

July eats.

New recipe that’s a keeper: Black Cod fish and mango salsa

Something I could eat every day: Peas, broccoli, carrots, chicken and rice

Dessert I dream about: Frozen whipped cream

Flavor of July: Banana (shout out to banana cream pie)

Favorite summer meal: Burgers in Paradise

Food that makes me want to buy a grill: Dijonese grilled chicken

Favorite stormy night meal: Chuck Roast

Vegetables of the summer: Okra and corn

Nostalgic moment: Strawberry ice cream cake

First time try: Pizza Ranch

Taste like summer: Peach/corn salad

Something staying in summer (because I hate them): corn tortillas

Epic fail: homemade M&Ms

One Sentence Can Change History

The phrase smear campaign has never been so applicable…

We’ve seen it with Amber Heard, Blake Lively, and now… my dad! Well, not as much my dad as Sir Francis Bacon. No fancy PR teams or strategists were needed for my sister to smear Sir Francis Bacon’s reputation (and my dad by association).

Anyone reading this should know Fish Bowl (aka bowl of nouns). Picture my sister taking the stage for round 2, the charades round, acting acting acting, getting nothing from the audience, and then suddenly aggressively pointing at my dad, acting out death by dysentery, all this for his submission of Sir Francis Bacon. My family had no clue that’s how he passed away, but it didn’t stop us from using the word diarrhea for round 3.

Now we’ve all been walking around with this new historical fact: Sir Francis Bacon died of dysentery. Except he did not. He died of a heart attack. But that’s not what we’ll remember when it comes down to it.

So long story short, if 100 years later this sort of misinformation is spreading about Sir Francis Bacon, there’s a high chance misinformation is spreading about you too.

Lessons In Small Talk

It would’ve been less embarrassing to learn these at a younger age.

1. Don’t pretend to know something you don’t know

Something about me: I like to be agreeable, especially in a quick conversation. If a coworker says, “Oh yeah, that’s just like this movie”, I am going to nod, laugh, and agree because who am I not to get the reference?

The conversation usually goes on without a hitch, but 4 years into the job… it didn’t…

“So you’ve seen the movie too?”

What was I going to do, lie and say yes? If he had no shame in asking if I’d seen the movie, what’s stopping him from asking me the name of it? An actor in it? My favorite character? The plot?

“No, I laughed along with your jokes while having absolutely no clue what you are talking about” is what my eyes said, but a quiet “uhhh I’m not sure” is what came out.

Then we just had to look at each other. I think we are super close now.

But TBH I need a word with everyone who said “fake it til you make it”, because it did me no good.

2. Don’t recommend something you’ve never fully heard

One more thing you need to know about me: I have limited knowledge of country music. So when my dad asked for some recommendations for a country playlist, my repertoire didn’t extend far past Beyoncé’s country album. Scrolling through, I saw she had a collab with Shaboozy (a fam fav), and I thought, wow, how perfect, amazingly thoughtful of me to put in a song with both of our fav artists. After listening to the first 20 seconds, I took out my headphones and sent over the title.

I didn’t hear beyond those 20 seconds until two months later when I was visiting my parents. First I was excited, thinking, oh, this is my song. Then I started listening, and with each verse my brows furrowed more and more.

It was bad. With bad meaning, obnoxiously vulgar and graphic.

I stood there humiliated. I’m the one my family doesn’t even suggest an R-rated movie to, and I sent them this X-rated song. And I did not simply send it to them; I insinuated it was one of my TOP FIVE FAVORITE COUNTRY SONGS OF ALL TIME. It wouldn’t be something they’d easily forget either, considering it’s a playlist my dad probably listens to daily.

So as any grown, respectful woman would do, I ran back to my parents’ room, banged on the door, and yelled through it until they came out. Nothing else in that moment mattered except clearing my name.

The sad part is, this isn’t even the first time something like this has happened.

Exposé

Poodles only they say. Well, explain this.

If you read June, you saw a picture of a Poodle’s only groomer. Well, there’s been a massive development. The storefront is covered in larger-than-life Poodles dressed to the nines, so eye-catching you could almost miss the Beagle on a skateboard on the storefront window. It leaves one with many questions and no answers. Have they expanded beyond poodles? Did they think the beagle was a poodle? Were they just trying to make their window display look more enticing?

Mixed Media

July recommendations.

Book to read: We Begin at the End. I definitely enjoyed this book, but it couldn’t compete with All the Colors of the Dark, so don’t go into it expecting the same level of WOW

Book to avoid: The House We Grew Up In honestly could best be described as disturbing and uncomfortable. I can’t think of a single redeeming quality.

Songs on repeat: I went rock and roll this summer with Paint It Black, 505, and the Cure with a little bit of Adele.

Favorite watch: The History Channel, specifically the series on empires

Podcast: Serial Production The Idiot and The Last 12 Weeks

Movie: The Sheep Detective is the best movie of all time, hands down. For all my winter lambs out there, sending you lots of love. Godspeed (whatever that means)

Favorite App: The Publix app. Wednesdays are my favorite day of the week, the final day of current bogos and a preview of next week’s bogos

Favorite activity: Painting what’s on the heart

Game of the month: Rummikub