One Year Married
Lots of people are asking about it.
I will start with the obvious – it’s the best! But It’s another date that marking the passing of time. So much happens in a year, yet I still find myself questioning how it’s already been a year. It’s not a bad thing; it’s just the reminder to be present in every day and embrace the simple moments.
The Hoover Dam Exposed
An April thought I’m still thinking about in May.
It’s hard being a journalist who covers hard truths, because I often find myself having to break the bad news. It has come to my desk that beavers did not build the Hoover Dam. It is a man-made dam, damn. It is also not close to Canada. Learning all this at once was incredibly unsettling. Everything I thought I knew about the Hoover Dam was just plain wrong…
There are so many thoughts running through my head with this discovery
- When people hear dam, do they not assume beaver dam?
- Why are we stealing beavers’ jobs? Man-made dams and AI are giving the same vibe (that’s not a compliment)
- Calling it the Hoover Dam really makes it sound like it’s closer to Canada on the east coast – it’s giving Niagara Falls
- If we didn’t have Google, would any of us truly know what a dam is?
- Since I have never been to the Hoover Dam, how could I possibly be expected to know it is not a beaver-built dam
- How many other geographical landmarks do I know nothing about
- I’d like to see a beaver dam, meet a beaver, and thank him for everything he has done to protect us from floods
Vibe Check
Happiness is a choice. Which side will you remember?
Good Vibes
- Finding a juicy orange
- Making it to a gas station when your driver has 1 mile of gas left
- Vacation coffee
- Free yacht trip
- Prank calls with friends
- Fixing full email inbox problem
- Trying the wedding cake you froze
- House hibachi
- Becoming besties with your bestie’s besties
- A stranger letting your friend take pictures in his car
- Picking a movie called Swampped because you think it is about a beaver
Bad Vibes
- Your juicy orange spilling all over your work pants on a business trip
- Picking the gas station with no bathroom when you have to pee
- Getting charged a different price every day for the same drink
- Being stuck on the yacht for an extra 2 hours because the engine broke down
- People threatening to call SWAT because you prank-called them
- Deleting the entire email inbox by mistake
- Your leftover wedding cake tasting like box
- Hibachi chef slamming into a tree with their car
- Not living in the same town as any of your new besties
- A stranger rejecting your offer to be their wedding date
- Learning your eyesight is worse than you thought and having to watch a movie called Swapped about a made-up animal
What’s People’s Problem With Roast Beef
Grow up.
Is it just me, or do people low-key judge people who like roast beef? I don’t know who was out there politicking the lunch meats (I’m guessing a ham lobbyist), but all I know is it’s giving smear campaign. And a successful campaign given the fact that people are embarrassed to admit they even like roast beef now. Not me!
They always say it takes one person to start a movement, but that’s idealistic. According to Blan, it actually takes two – and perhaps the braver person is the one who buys into the idea the first person is selling. I know I have brave readers out there, so who’s with me? Like hello. French dips!
This Month
By the numbers.
My Jokes Are Someone’s Reality
I see why people don’t like Ubers.
We’re surrounded by hustle culture. We’ve all toyed around with the idea of being an Uber driver while working our corporate jobs. Easy money, all we’d have to do is move our computer mouses around at red lights. It’s so simple, so genius, so outrageous, and now has been proven as a real possibility. No, I didn’t try it. I lived it.
Imagine dreading the hour-long Uber drive from Miami to FLL, getting in the car, and seeing someone live out your joke (dreams). My Uber driver was THAT diva. Computer in passenger seat, Outlook on screen, and mouse moving through our stand still traffic. I sat there through the ride stifling a laugh, debating if I should be impressed or report her to Uber corporate.
May Menu
It’s giving yum.
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